The Loss of a Friend

It has been a while since I wrote by last entry here. I've always talked about politics and my dissatisfaction with the Bush administration on both domestic and foreign policy.

Tonight, my blog is very personal. While I was working on a few files at my office this morning, I received a frantic phonecall from my young, but extremely intelligent and caring legal secretary. She had the day off to travel to a resort with her husband but something was obviously wrong. She was crying so hard that I could barely understand her. My mind raced at thoughts that something had happened to her or her husband. Perhaps a plane crash.

Instead, as she composed herself, I understood her words, "S. killed himself today." I won't mention S.'s name nor my secretary's for privacy reasons, but I, too, was devastated. S. was in his late 30's and left two children, a 19 year old son and a one year old son.

A few months ago, S. had expressed an interest in moving in with me and the lawyer I office with. We were interested as we both liked the young man (young to us as I am 61 and my fellow lawyer is in his 50's.) We wanted him to join us but nothing ever came of it. As the months passed, we began to hear that S. had some serious personal problems that included alcohol and depression.

Time passed and I attended to legal seminars that sadly reported that lawyers have replaced dentists as the most "depressed" professionals (at least it was sad for me, although I have nothing against dentists.) I also learned that lawyers who practice Family (divorce) and Criminal law have the highest rate of suicide in the legal profession. I practice those areas of the law. So did S.

I know that attorneys are not the most beloved professionals around. "Lawyer jokes" don't really bother me unless they have a vicious side to them but I am disturbed that the general public and individual clients have such little respect for my profession.

I can't blame the general public or individual clients on S's death. I can blame myself for not doing more to intervene in his problems. However, there are other lawyers in town who did take a more active role in trying to help S. and their efforts failed.

The "personal" side of this blog is meant not only for attorneys but for anyone who sees a person who is depressed. We seem to be living in times where depression is at an all-time high. Even though we have drugs and doctors to help alleviate the "down" feelings, nothing is more important than the love and care of a friend or family member.

I don't ask you to "love" all lawyers. I don't even ask you to stop telling "lawyer" jokes. I just ask that attacks on the profession and on individual attorneys or any other professionals or non-professionals not be so mean-spirited.

I can't imagine the agony that S's loved ones are going through right now. He was a likable, intelligent young man who had so much promise. We will all wonder: Is there anything else I could have done? If you have a friend or loved one who is deeply depressed, please take the extra step and ask if you can help. It may save a life.